Daas Torah - Issues of Jewish Identity: Heard from the Shomer Emunim Rebbe (daattorah.blogspot.com)
About 15 years ago I had the opportunity to spend a number of hours with the Shomer Emunim Rebbe. The following are samples of our conversations.
I asked him what it was like being a rebbe? He replied, "In the old days when the chassidim needed the rebbe it was good. But now the rebbe needs the chassidim and it is not so good."
He mentioned a well known rebbe in Europe who had one daughter but many sons. The rebbe made all his son's rebbes but not his son-in-law. His daughter was hurt by this and asked her father why he didn't make her husband a rebbe also. The father replied, "Your husband is a tremendous talmid chacom. A talented leader - he will have no trouble with parnosa. Unfortunately your brothers are not so smart or talented - at least they can be rebbes.
I have a son who at that time was a strong kanoi. I asked the Rebbe what I should do about it. He told me to bring my son to him. The Rebbe talked with him - and my son criticized one group after another as not being "proper Jews". The Rebbe pulled out a sefer - Derech Mitzvosecha" and pointed out a paragraph. It said, "You can not be a kanoi if you enjoy it. Being a zealot is only for those who find it distasteful." My son lost all interest in criticizing other Jews at that meeting and totally changed his perspective for the good.